The Most Common Parenting Mistakes With Your Child’s Mental Health
Contributed by Austin Tiu.
Parenting is both fun and rewarding, yet incredibly challenging at times. There’s no job quite like raising a child, as you often have to juggle many other jobs at the same time. It can be easy to make some mistakes, especially when it comes to your child’s mental health. Physical injuries are straightforward when it comes to symptom recognition and treatment, but mental health is much more subtle. It’s very ordinary to take the wrong approach when trying to set a good example for your kids. When you learn from some common parenting mistakes regarding kids’ mental health, you can put more thought into how you approach similar situations.
Punishing Honesty
If your child admits to wrongdoing of any kind, your first instinct may be to take disciplinary action. While no one can tell you how to parent your child, you may want to think twice about punishing an act of honesty. The best way to encourage honest and open conversations with your child and foster a positive relationship is to make it safe for them to come to you. Discuss what they did wrong neutrally, providing an opportunity for them to admit when they’ve made a mistake and what they’ve learned from it. When you punish honesty, they’re less likely to come to you in the future, even when they need help.
Taking Away Privileges
It’s well-documented that too much gaming or social media time can have negative effects on mental health, but taking these privileges away to protect your child can backfire. They may find ways to hide the activity from you, which can impact their sleep or their relationship with you. Instead of taking away meaningful activities from them, educate them on safe use, including healthy schedules and prioritizing important tasks first. Lead by example. Consider including screen-free family bonding hours to help put a positive spin on the situation.
Isolating Your Child
When your child struggles with mental health symptoms, it can be tempting to want to protect them from the world. Trying to limit their exposure to harmful influences can also limit their exposure to positive ones. Don’t smother or hide them from the world. They can learn important life lessons and problem-solving skills at school or with friends. Removing your child from social situations should only be done in emergencies or on a case-by-case basis. Their support systems are important.
Downplaying Emotions
While mood swings and other mental health symptoms can be normal as a child grows, especially when they experience hormonal changes from puberty, you shouldn’t write them off as a passing phase. Even normal mood swings can vary in intensity and can be overwhelming for kids who aren’t used to these emotions or symptoms. Address any concerns your child has with full attention. They can feel less alone when they have support from their parents, especially when they have access to mental health professionals. Paying attention to their emotional ecosystem can help you better identify when things have gotten worse, too. You can foster a more positive relationship with your kids when they don’t feel belittled, ignored, or written off.
Focusing on Academic Performance
Your child is far more than the grades they earn. If they’re making good grades, that doesn’t mean your support or concern should lessen. Similarly, if they’re having trouble with their grades, that doesn’t mean they’re a lost cause or that there aren’t options available to help them. A child’s mental health can suffer when they feel they’re only worth their grades. Try to find ways to support and reward them outside of their academic performance, even if their grades are slipping. Foster open conversations about any problems or concerns they’re facing in their daily lives, even when everything seems normal on their report card.
Not Leading By Example
It can be intimidating to admit mental health struggles, especially when talking to a person in authority. You can level the playing field by being honest about your struggles, mental health symptoms, or therapy appointments. Create an environment where honesty and vulnerability are welcome, even when things go wrong.
Avoiding Authority Intervention
In many cases, a child’s declining mental health can stem from bullying or abuse. It’s very important to know when to escalate abuse cases to the authorities, particularly with ongoing abuse, when other children are at risk, or if the abuse came from a trusted community member. Reporting the abuse or harm done to your child can save lives.
Law Enforcement
If your child admits that they’ve been abused, file a police report and help launch an official investigation to protect your child and others from additional offenses. Contact the non-emergency number or head to the police station to file a report.
Legal Support
An attorney can help you discuss your options, file a police report or lawsuit, and represent you in court in case you need to pursue litigation, protective orders, custody changes, and more. Be sure you find counsel in the state where the incident occurred for the most adequate representation. Michigan parents should consult with Michigan attorneys, for example. Depending on your area, you may be able to find lawyers who specialize in certain types of abuse, including child abuse, for the best chances of success. Some law firms have very specific specialties that can be particularly helpful for parents as well, such as medical abuse or clergy abuse. A Michigan victim of clergy abuse would best be represented by a lawyer specializing in clergy abuse in Michigan. Try to find the closest legal representation that meets your family’s needs, both in terms of location and specialty.
Medical Care
If your child is threatening to hurt themselves or others, you’re likely going to want to get them to a hospital for close monitoring. Many lives have been saved this way. You can call 911 for quick ambulance support or take them to the nearest emergency room yourself.
Conclusion
Parenting is tough. Mistakes are very easy to make, even when your intentions are good. Learning from common parenting mistakes that affect your children’s mental health can help you create a welcoming and supportive environment. Ensure your child has the space to be honest and vulnerable with you by not punishing them when they open up. Be honest about your mental health journey, and practice healthy habits in your own life to show them what self-care looks like. While we all make mistakes as parents, the best way to grow and support your children is to learn from them and nurture your connections to the best of your ability.
Related:
