How Couples Can Strengthen Their Relationship After Becoming Parents
Before you had children, your relationship was about you two. Simple. But things shift when you bring your little munchkin home.
Sleepless nights, endless nappies, and constant demands from a tiny human being will put even the strongest relationships under serious strain. And science agrees…
One third of parents surveyed said they experienced more conflict with their partner during their child's first 1,001 days.
Another survey found that 50% of parents said they experienced worse mental health after having children. They suffered increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.
But here's the good news
With intentionality and effort, couples can survive this transition. They can come out the other side closer and stronger than ever.
What you'll learn:
- Why Parenthood Challenges Your Relationship
- Why Mental Wellbeing Workshops Are Important
- 5x Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship After Baby
- When To Get Professional Help
Why Parenthood Puts Relationships Under Pressure
Think about your relationship before your baby came along.
You likely spent quality time together, went on dates, enjoyed long conversations and did fun things as a couple.
Flashforward to life with a newborn. All that slides to the wayside when you have a baby.
Pregnancy and childbirth lead to changes that most couples are unprepared for. From sleep deprivation and shifting roles to financial pressures and loss of personal identity, many things get thrown at you.
It happens to both moms and dads.
According to research, about 1 in 7 people experience baby blues or perinatal depression during pregnancy or the first year after birth. And no, partners are not excluded from that statistic.
The mistake couples make is thinking they can ride out these challenges alone.
They can't.
The Role Mental Wellbeing Workshops Play
Group mental wellbeing workshops are one of the most effective tools for couples during this season of life. Not only does it allow you and your partner to grow individually, but it gives you the chance to grow together.
Working with a trusted psychologist who can provide tailored mental wellbeing workshops for couples during this period will help you learn the skills you need to stay connected.
Essentially, mental wellbeing workshops prevent your relationship from crumbling. It's like going for regular service at the mechanic before something breaks.
Many couples wait until things get bad before they decide to seek help. By that point, it often takes a lot of effort to get back on track.
Getting help before small issues turn into deal-breakers is the best thing you can do as a couple.
Mental wellbeing workshops also normalise how you and your partner may feel throughout this period. Once you know other couples experience the same things as you do, you'll feel less pressure.
Sometimes that's all we need to hear.
5x Proven Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship After Baby
Okay, let's get into some practical tips that will help you and your partner stay strong after your baby arrives.
These techniques have been used by couples all over the world who were facing real challenges. Implement the ones that resonate with you and start putting them into practice.
Communicate
Communication is the reason most couples struggle.
When you become parents, communication is key.
Yes, you need to communicate who does what when it comes to the baby. But you also need to communicate how you're feeling on the inside.
Check in with each other and ask how your partner is really doing. Listen to what they have to say.
Make time for 10 minutes a day where you two can focus on each other.
No phones, no baby monitor, no distractions. Allow each other to talk and connect for that 10 minutes and watch your relationship grow.
Share The Responsibilities
Ok, kids don't come with an instruction manual for a reason. You're going to figure it out as you go.
But one thing you should figure out is how to share the load equally.
If you or your partner feel like the baby is sucking all your time and energy, resentment will start to creep in. And that resentment slowly poisons your relationship.
Make sure you're both on the same page when it comes to handling responsibility. And remember it doesn't have to be 50/50. It just means that both of you should feel equally cared for over time.
Spend Time Together
You read that right. Schedule time for yourself together.
Once you have a baby, you won't have many random date nights.
Whether it's watching your favourite show together after the baby's asleep or having coffee together on weekends. Make sure you schedule in some "us" time.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Any amount of quality time you two spend together will benefit your relationship.
Look After Yourself
This tip is part-self-care, part-concern for your partner.
You can't be there for your partner if you're running on empty.
Make sure you look after your mental health. Take some time out for yourself, whether it's going for a run, seeing friends, taking up a hobby or going to therapy.
When both of you take the time to recharge, you have more love to give to each other. Simple as that.
Get Help When You Need It
Here's the one thing most couples struggle with.
Asking for help.
There's a stigma when it comes to asking for help. Nobody wants to be that couple who needs help. But guess what?
Seeking support from family, friends or professionals doesn't make you weak. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
Couples who ask for help early will always fare better during challenges than those who try to go it alone.
When To Get Professional Help
There will be times where the above tips don't seem like enough.
And that's ok.
If you or your partner are feeling persistently sad, withdrawn, angry or anxious don't hesitate to reach out to a professional.
These are all signs of postnatal depression and anxiety. And it's more common in parents than you think.
Get help as soon as you can. The sooner you and your partner get help, the sooner you'll both recover and build a healthier relationship going forward.
Professional help can come in many forms. Couple's therapy, individual counselling or structured mental wellbeing workshops are all great ways to get you on track.
Wrapping Things Up
Kids are hard on relationships.
No sugar-coating it. It's a hard fact that we all have to accept if we decide to have children.
However, how your relationship comes out on the other side is completely up to you two.
If you couple communicate, share the load, make time for each other, and seek help when needed. You'll stand a chance at exiting this season of life stronger than ever.
Let's do a quick recap:
- Parenting is hard on relationships. But it doesn't have to break yours.
- Relationship struggles after baby is normal. Make use of mental wellbeing workshops to help give you and your partner the tools to navigate this season.
- Schedule time for yourself. Grab a coffee or watch Netflix together.
- Look after your mental health. If you're feeling flat, ask for help. You're not alone.
Parenting is arguably one of the biggest transitions couples will face. But it's also one of the most rewarding.
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