Parenting is exhausting, especially with a newborn. Add work into the mix, and you end up exhausted. But even at the brink of collapse, most dads don’t get quality sleep. Below, we explain how to get quality sleep back, the routines you need to build, and the tools that help.
Can Your Body Adjust to Poor-Quality Sleep?
Sleeping for 7 to 9 hours is the sweet spot for adults. Dads with infants and young kids don’t often have that luxury. Babies can wake up and cry at any point. Your kids run to your room because of a nightmare. It’ll be a while before that stops.
Do you just power through? Does your body adjust? Can you live on 4-5 hours of sleep instead of your usual 8? You’ll “survive” it. And the body does adjust to poor-quality sleep—your sense of sleepiness after waking up levels off in about a week or two.
How well you function throughout the day does not. Studies show that having only 6 hours of sleep makes you perform as badly as people who pull all-nighters. On 4 hours of sleep, it was like skipping two nights. The worst part is you wouldn’t know how impaired you actually are.
How Can Dads Get Back Quality Sleep?
Sleep quality affects work, how you interact with people, and how much you enjoy hobbies you have little time for. If you want to get that quality sleep back, consider the following:
Sleep in Shifts, Don’t Take Turns Waking Up
Taking turns waking up when your baby cries doesn’t work. You both wake up anyway, and no one gets real sleep. Johns Hopkins conducted a study on this, suggesting that broken sleep reduces positive mood by 31%. People who sleep late but get uninterrupted sleep only loose 12%.
Try shifts instead. Your partner goes to bed at 9 pm. You handle the midnight feed, then sleep until morning while your partner covers from 3 am. That’s about 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep for both of you. Consider using earplugs as well, but only when the other parent is on duty.
Use Naps and Caffeine Strategically
Naps work best if they’re short. 30 minutes is the sweet spot for most people. NASA did a study on naps and found pilots who slept for 26-30 minutes performed 34% better and were 54% more alert.
Coffee is the obvious go-to for most people. But when you drink coffee matters a lot. Try to have your coffee at least 6 hours before you plan to see. Taking 400 mg of caffeine 6 hours before bed already cuts sleep by more than an hour.
Protect the Sleep You Do Get
Being a dad means you might not get as much sleep as you used to, so make each one count. Keep the bedroom dark and cool. The ideal temperature is around 18 to 20 degrees Celsius (65 to 68°F). And try to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.
If you can't fall asleep, don’t look at the clock to check how much time you’ve lost. If you're still awake after 20 minutes of trying to sleep, get up and do something calm until you feel sleepy. Don’t look at your phone or anything that might stimulate your brain.
Use the Right Tools to Help You Sleep Better
Blackout curtains help out a lot if you need to sleep or nap during the day. You can also use earplugs to reduce noise, or a white noise app if you’re “off duty” for the night.
If you can't sleep even when the baby does, try a CBT-I app. Doctors recommend CBT-I as the first treatment for chronic insomnia. A weighted blanket helps, too.
Mouth tape for sleep also helps in specific cases. The tape keeps your lips closed so you breathe through your nose. It’s a good option for mouth breathers with mild sleep apnea and a clear nose. But if you snore frequently and loudly, and wake up exhausted, see the doctor first. Tape can quiet snoring without treating the underlying sleep apnea.
What If Your Kids Are Past the Baby Stage?
Night feeds end, but busy weeks don't. Late games, early meetings, and the occasional nightmares can still take up precious sleep time. At this stage, the same rules still apply. Aim for 7 to 9 hours. Keep your wake-up time steady, even on weekends.
And don't count on sleeping in to make up for it. People who slept 5 hours on weeknights and slept in on weekends still saw insulin sensitivity drop 27%. And you probably know that you can’t “make up” for lost sleep.
Key Takeaways
If you’re a busy dad, you need all the rest you can get. The quality of sleep you get matters just as much as how long. To recap, here’s what you can do to start getting better sleep:
Sleep in shifts and don’t take turns waking up if you have a newborn.
Only nap for about 30 minutes. Get blackout curtains to help you nap better at home.
Set the AC to 18-20 degrees for the best quality sleep.
Try a CBT-I app or mouth tape if you have sleep apnea (only if you have a clear nose).
