How to Be 10% Happier
“There’s no point in being unhappy about things you can’t change, and no point being unhappy about things you can.”
― Dan Harris
In 2004, four years into his career at ABC, Dan Harris had a panic attack on Good Morning America. From that point on realized that change needed to happen. 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found a Self-Help That Actually is part autobiography and part investigative journalism. Harris is a hard-charging career man who provides an honest and self-deprecating view of the mindset of a man climbing to the top of the TV journalism business and then trying to stay there.
A lifelong skeptic, Harris initially struggled to connect with the meditation and mindfulness experts he interviewed as part of his work. However, over time, he found relatable voices that sparked his personal journey from meditation to a 10-day silent retreat, eventually leading to the 10% Happier book and podcast.
Though the first parts of the book read more like an autobiography, Hariris’s writing is witty and funny which keeps it interesting throughout the rest of the dive into the topic itself. He came up with the “10% happier” tagline in conversation with someone as a way to deflect the woo-woo-ness of it. Ten percent isn’t a whole lot but it’s enough to get you a good ROI.
3 Takeaways from 10% Happier
1. Mindfulness: The Fourth Option
“According to the Buddha, we have three habitual responses to everything we experience. We want it, reject it, or we zone out. Cookies: I want. Mosquitoes: I reject. The safety instructions the flight attendants read aloud on an airplane: I zone out. Mindfulness is a fourth option, a way to view the contents of our mind with nonjudgmental remove.”
When something happens, we often react instinctively, without even noticing the emotion driving our response. By recognizing the space between stimulus and response and taking a moment to pause, we create an opportunity to look inward. This pause allows us to observe what our instinctive, reptilian brain is doing, giving us not only heightened awareness but also a greater sense of control over our reactions.
2. Let it R.A.I.N.
Harris learned the acronym R.A.I.N. as a way to apply mindfulness in acute situations.
Recognize Just see what’s there. Acknowledge the feelings.
Allow. Let it happen without judgment.
Investigate. How do the feelings present themselves? Is your tongue dry? Head buzzy?
Non-identification. You can feel angry without being an angry person. Don’t label. This is a temporary state.
I use a similar strategy to bring me in the moment. When I have difficulty meditating or if I have unusually strong positive or negative emotions I use the not-as-peasant sounding S.E.I.
Sensations (I focus on the individual senses for at least a breath).
Emotions (I identify how I’m feeling).
Intention (what is my purpose for the meditation?).
3. Detach From the Outcome
One theme of the book is the struggle to keep an edge in the TV biz while striving for a mindful approach. Harris’ 10% Happier journey was largely from 2007-2009 at the very beginning of the mindfulness popularity boost. Mindfulness and meditation were new, unusual, and maybe threatening for the neurotic type A person who can’t spare a breath to look inward. Nowadays everyone from grandma to the mechanic down the street knows about these skills and much of the fear of turning into a monk has subsided.
Harris references his dad who says, “The price of security is insecurity” or, in other words, you have to have some stress and neuroticism to climb the mountain. Early in his career, he was too neurotic, then he dove headfirst into the mindfulness and meditation movement and his career dipped. Ultimately, through plenty of trial and error, he learned to strike a balance by learning to detach from the outcome.
Yes, it’s corny and cliche but the journey is the destination. As he writes,
“If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on the present.”
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